Tool 28 · Practical life
Conversation Prep Sheet
Hard conversation ahead? Fill in four boxes. Get a full script: opener, three points, anticipated replies, an exit line, and what to do afterwards.
What this actually does
Rehearsal reduces the amygdala's hijack at the moment of the actual conversation (Maren, 2001; Brosch et al., 2021, on affect labelling). Writing down what you'll say isn't a magic spell — but it does move the conversation from "totally unfamiliar" to "I've thought about this", which is what your threat system needs.
The two modes correspond to two well-documented communication styles. Matter-of-fact — low-emotion, descriptive, what DEAR MAN (Linehan) calls "stick to the facts". Important to me — uses "I" statements and affect naming, more aligned with Non-Violent Communication (Rosenberg).
Who it's for
People facing a specific upcoming conversation. Less useful for chronic conflict (see Boundary Builder for that). Not a substitute for couples therapy, mediation, or legal advice.
Limitations
Scripts help with anxiety. They don't guarantee outcomes — the other person is still a person. If a conversation involves safety (abuse, harassment, threats), please use appropriate channels rather than rehearsing a script.
If you find yourself rewriting the script over and over, you're probably past the point of useful prep and into avoidance. At that point: send a one-line message saying "can we talk Thursday" and stop.
FAQ
What if the conversation goes completely off-script?
That's the most common outcome. The script isn't a contract — it's a launchpad and an exit. If it derails, return to the opener or jump to the exit line.
Which mode should I pick?
Matter-of-fact is for: work, requests, complaints, declinations, anything with a clear outcome. Important-to-me is for: feelings, relationships, identity, anything where the relationship itself is the subject.
Where does my data go?
localStorage on this device only. Nothing is uploaded.
Can I save multiple scripts?
Not in this version — one at a time. Use Print/PDF to keep an archive.
What are the common mistakes when using Conversation Prep Sheet?
Most common mistakes come down to four habits: entering 20 when the field expects 0.2 because the field is a percentage; leaving a field blank and accepting the default without checking what it stands for; changing one input and reading a result that was calculated before the change; and quoting the output as an exact figure when the page describes it as a reference estimate. Press calculate again after any edit, and treat the number as a reference point rather than a final answer.Advertisement